Socratic Questions

Oleg Atbashian lists some great questions to ask “progressives,” that is, fascists too confused or cowardly to accept the label. (For making the case on that one, thank you, Jonah Goldberg!) They’re outstanding. Here are my favorites:

• If all cultures are equal, why doesn’t UNESCO organize International Cannibalism Week festivals?
• If all beliefs are equally valid, how come my belief in the absurdity of this maxim gets rejected by its proponents?
• Ever noticed that for the past thirty years, we’ve been hearing we have less than ten years to save the planet?
• Once a politician labels the truth as hate speech, can anyone trust him to speak the truth afterward?
• If a politician gets elected by the poor on a promise to eliminate poverty, wouldn’t fulfilling his promise destroy his voting base? Wouldn’t he rather benefit from the growing numbers of poor people? Isn’t this an obvious conflict of interests?
• How did the “war on poverty” end? Has there been a peace treaty or a ceasefire? Who is the occupying force and who are the insurgents?
• If capitalism makes some people rich without making others poor, who will benefit when capitalism is destroyed?
• If the poor in America have things that people in other countries can only dream about, why is there a movement to make America more like those other countries?
• Why, on the rare occasions when Obama’s actions benefit America, does his base get angry? And every time his actions are hurting this nation, his  base is happy? Who exactly are these people?
• If cutting out the middleman lowers the price, why are we paying the government to stand between us and the markets?
• How many Kyoto Protocols are rendered pointless by one medium-sized volcanic eruption?
• Why does Hollywood glamorize drug addicts, criminals, liberal Democrats, and mentally challenged people? What do they all have in common?
• Why do those who decry modern civilization never live far from shopping centers and why don’t grind their coffee with a stone ax?
• How come the unselfish Americans hate their country out of personal frustrations, while the selfish ones defend America with their lives?
• If Hollywood types are so opposed to capitalism, why is there a warning against unauthorized distribution of their movies?
• Why do those who object to tampering with the environment approve of tampering with the economy? Isn’t the economy also a fragile ecosystem where a sudden change can trigger a devastating chain reaction?
• Isn’t the latest economic crisis such a chain reaction?
• Aren’t most of today’s social ills the result of tampering with social ecosystems?
• Why is bioengineering bad, but social engineering good?
• Ever noticed that those who demand “power to the people” also believe that people can’t do anything right without government supervision?
• How exactly does dependency on the government increase “people power”?
• Why is there never a headline that says “Government program ends as its intended goal has been achieved”?
• Can you name one person who paid the IRS more than he owed because he trusted the government to put his money to good use?
• And finally, if all opinions are equal, how come a liberal who disagrees with a conservative is open-minded, but a conservative who disagrees with a liberal is a bigot?